It’s not so much about her, it’s more that she is. OK. A little background. I live in the top floor of The House That Munt Built. This floor is split, front to back in 2 with a small corridor between. The front half is one big room, but the back half has been split into two smaller rooms, one of which mine. The problem is that the partition wall between these smaller rooms hasn’t got any sound insulation in it. This means that I can pretty much hear everything that goes on next door if I am being quiet. More worrying, they can thus hear everything that I am doing if they are quiet…
The Chef used to live the other side of the wall and he has a loud, deep voice and loves reggae music with massive amounts of bass. He’s not the smartest cookie in the jar and would always turn his hifi on, realise that it was on really loud and turn it down for me. Very considerate, but bearing in mind this was usually at 2am, the damage was already done. He worked the evening shift and so could have it up very loud during the day. Not playing music at 2am was not an option I ever managed to convince him to try. I even leant him my headphones, but remembering to plug them in took longer than it too to turn the music down from it’s daily setting.
So when he moved to the big room across the hall I was ecstatic. He’s been there a few months and life was good.
But now a woman (girl?) in her early 20s has moved in. I’m sure she is nice enough and all, but as Jilted John would say… ‘ere we go 2, 3, 4…
7 comments:
*Gasp* You're calling the girl next door a slapper?
Ooooohhh... there is nothing worse than listening to someone else having a good time while you're not!
Oh record it... and make a post out of it - dare you.
Sx
You're clearly not satisfied with just getting me hooked on Jilted John again ...
Let's get some clarity here: are you predicting trouble or have you already been witness to sounds of enviable pleasures?
Of course, the way to avoid either of you hearing the noises made on the other side of the wall is for both of you to be making noise in the same room ...
Helga: No, I never said that at all. I'm saying that I don't want to listen to *any* she does. Be it slapping or not... ;-)
Scarls: I'll try. Honest. But I've had a chat with the man that is going to fit the soundproofing and he wants to do it fairly soon, which is bloody excellent.
Ro: Erm, yes, I am predicting trouble. But not just of the slapping type, of all sorts. Phone calls, music, that sort of thing.
As I've posted myself, "other people" and their noise is one of my bugbears too...
Not much you can do, aside from retaliate and hope they get the message.
I read in some etiquette guide once that the best course of action is to speak to them, repeating back some very personal information you've overheard and say are they aware you can hear everything through the thin wall... but personally, I don't think that would work.
No, I'd use something like "The Aggravation Retaliation Kit" CD which I downloaded from a newsgroup years ago, and is full of annoying sound effects that you can play via say, a plug timer, very loud whilst you are out of the building.
I'd be happy to upload it to my webspace if you want to download it. The file note that came with it reads;
"The Aggravation Retaliation Kit Bodyguard Records, 2001
Subtitled: "Do Your Noisy Neighbors A Favor".
This disc contains six tracks, each about 10 minutes long, purporting to present "annoying real life situations guaranteed to drive your inconsiderate neighbors crazy." A disclaimer is included: "Not responsible for Police activity, heart attacks, anxienty attacks, disturbing the peace charges, or fist fights." The insert recommends dropping the low end on your equalizer by one half to make the sounds more realistic. Then choose a track, set the CD player on "repeat", point your speakers at your neighbor's walls, then leave for the weekend. These are pretty annoying indeed.
Track 01 is a loud phone ringing for 10 minutes. Track 02 is just what the title suggests. Track 03 is a loud (and 'productive') cough for ten minutes. Track 04 is someone whistling and sawing planks. Track 05 is a person stirring and slurping a cup of tea for 10 minutes. Track 06 is a melange of drunken interjections in Spanish, undergirded by salsa music and punctuated by breaking bottles and frequent references to "cerveza".
When set on 'repeat' for hours at a volume audible through your walls, i can imagine any one of these tracks would get the neighbors pretty upset... and now YOU would be the "inconsiderate neighbor". Anyway, it does have some humor value. Good Luck! "
Ro, John Shuttleworth rocks too! He's even doing adverts for "Yorkshire Tea" now, over here in the UK!
hopefully she will be a little hard of hearing.
Perhaps you might buy her a moving-in present .. some ear plugs .. would that be enough of a hint?
I think I have fallen in love with James... sigh...
Sx
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