At least not for me. Had the person responsible had a little more enlightenment, maybe this situation would never have arisen, but it has and now I have to deal with it. By deal with it, I of course mean Find Them and Kill Them.
Yes, this post deals, once again, with Facilities Management. And showers. Cold showers. Very cold showers.
I ran in once again this morning making the usual transformation from optimistic jogger to sweaty semi-invalid in the process. Based on the promise that the showers had been fixed on Friday I crawled into the shower and locked the door. Posing for the camera, I carefully adjusted all of the available shower controls and delighted the doubtlessly listening FM staff with the now usual scream. Freezing as ever.
Yes, this post deals, once again, with Facilities Management. And showers. Cold showers. Very cold showers.
I ran in once again this morning making the usual transformation from optimistic jogger to sweaty semi-invalid in the process. Based on the promise that the showers had been fixed on Friday I crawled into the shower and locked the door. Posing for the camera, I carefully adjusted all of the available shower controls and delighted the doubtlessly listening FM staff with the now usual scream. Freezing as ever.
Still unable to so much as walk straight, but at least now less smelly, I began the long walk to my desk, cursing to the gods of long and painful deaths of FM staff as I went.
And then I saw her. Mrs FM herself.
I stopped, mustered all my strength and tried to speak. “You told me that the showers would be fixed by today!”
“They are.” is what I thought she said, but, you know, I could be wrong.
“Sorry?”
“They came and adjusted them on Friday” she continued. Stop. Now lets do a full analysis on this statement. Ignoring the fact that it is totally wrong let us split it into its component parts.
And then I saw her. Mrs FM herself.
I stopped, mustered all my strength and tried to speak. “You told me that the showers would be fixed by today!”
“They are.” is what I thought she said, but, you know, I could be wrong.
“Sorry?”
“They came and adjusted them on Friday” she continued. Stop. Now lets do a full analysis on this statement. Ignoring the fact that it is totally wrong let us split it into its component parts.
- They - Bad start. This indicates that the FM staff in her department are not capable of adjusting the temperature of the showers. Too complicated?
- Came – Someone had to make a journey to do this task. Since there is only one set of FM people in the building, this means that someone came from another building to do this. WTF?
- Adjusted Them – Note that she didn’t say turned the temp up. She described the mechanics involved not what they were trying to achieve. A subtle difference, but probably the actual cause of the problem.
- On Friday – They have been and gone. No chance to catch them in the act and use a few brain cells to solve the problem.
“Oh no.” she explained. “The temperature control is inside the shower unit. They have to dismantle the shower to adjust it.”
And this is where I started to cry.
9 comments:
Perhaps you need to do the dismantling yourself....
I find it amazing that any facility would have the temperature controls inaccessible like that.
Bring a sledge hammer with you on Wed. Give them a headstart, because if you bash a hole in the wall to find the control, they will have to come fix that, what with all water going into the wall.
Think that would make them get the picture?
I trust you have warmed up...
Crying is a thinly-veiled ploy for all your female readers to "comfort" you, isn't it?
Posing for the camera... oh yeah? So where are the photos then? ;^)
I have a solution to your problem. Invite Ms FM to experience the showers for herself. Insist that you don't want to be accused of bias, and that you're making these things up. I'll bet someone will be back pretty sharpish to "adjust" the controls again!!
You could always invite Ms FM to share the shower with you so that you can see her reaction (and she, yours) when the ice water hits.
;-)
Mistress: Yes. Please...
All: I have been back. I was greeted with open arms and a promise that she had personally, and just for me, tested the showers and swore upon her life that they worked now.
Apparently the hot water pump had broken...
I too have tested them and they were an acceptable temperature.
But of course, tomorrow is another day...
Helga: I think that Mistress is in charge of the recording of my shower sessions.
Does she rent out the video by the day or by the hour? ;^)
Perhaps MJ will post the video on her blog..... ;)
I'll film it if someone will be so kind as to turn the "knob".
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